About a boy

8 years ago, I gave birth to a 7.8 pound baby boy, the next thing i know, he had turned my life around completely already.

Happy 8th birthday, my Carlo. I love you so much. :)

WHATEVER HAPPENED TO AMERICAN IDOL SEASON 10?

Is it just me or do you also feel my sentiment that this season is a total disappointment? Come to think of it, these aspiring artists caters to different music genres --genres that I think, American voters doesn't appreciate --which really aggravated to my dismay. This was the only season that I had poured so much time and emotion (LOL, emotion) to; this season had broken my heart into 3 pieces. 3 fucking pieces.

I was too verbal of my love for Paul McDonald because of the uniqueness of his voice, a genre that is of his own, not to mention his asdfdghgfjgajgfajhnnnnggggg looks. Then came the Top 8 elimination and he was booted out, my heart, my heart was profusely bleeding on the inside (okay, I exaggerate) when I knew about it. I was like, WHAT IS  UP WITH YOU, AMERICA? DON'T CHU KNOW WHAT TALENT IS ALL ABOUT? I barfed.

Eventually, I got over it. I was cheering for Casey baby Abrams for weeks, the jazz singer who the judges saved this season. Oh, Casey is one hot singer and bass player, his voice is like sex in my ears! But on the season's Top 5 performance, he got eliminated. Another heartbreaking moment for millions of viewers of this show. Again, I asked, WHAT IS UP WITH YOU AMERICA?

For a while, I stopped watching AI already. I just see it whenever I catch it on tv. I google the results during Friday mornings just to be updated, but overall, I may say that I had lost interest because of the recurring events.

And then I got to appreciate Haley Reinhart, the sexy siren which Randy Jackson (basing on his weekly comments) doesn't like her that much. This is it, she's my last bet, the one that I am eyeing on to bag home the title, but I was so wrong, yesterday, she was sent home. Huhu, I can't help but express how devastated I was with the results. FUCK YEAH, AMERICA! But on a lighter note, a friend told me not to worry because after her performance the other night, people will be scrambling to sign her up. :) How comforting that thought was. Way to go Haaallleeeyyyy!!!

So, what now? It's going to be a battle between 2 country singers on the season finale, Lauren Alaina, the Carrie Underwood wannabe, ugh ugh ugh and the cutie patootie, Scotty Mcreery. I cannot think of better things to say, so, I'll just leave this here. Bye.

Bale 3 araw na inaatake yung nanay ko ng hika niya, nakakatakot nga eh, para bang kung saan niya hinuhugot yung hininga niya. Ang panget kase ng panahon ngayon, napakainit sa maghapon tapos biglang uulan sa gabi. Alam mo na, malawakang epekto ng global warming.

Eh, ayun nga, sana gumaling na si mommy. Ayokong nagkakasakit siya eh, nalulungkot ako. Palage kong sinasabe sa kanya, siya na lang ang meron kame ni Carlo kaya dapat palage siyang malakas, mahal na mahal namin yan eh.

random stuff I had realized lately:

• PMS is a bitch
• Carlo said I've been so mataray these past days
• no matter how I shield myself, I am still capable of mini-heartbreaks
• I blabber/tweet a lot when I feel extreme emotions
• at some point, I know I just have to stop
• and assess myself what I really want
• I listen a lot to Adele
• pushing people away is my expertise
• I lack strategic planning in playing Monopoly or any game for that matter
• it's hard to fight the urge to click on the unfollow/block button
• but hey, I am trying my best not to
• and then it kind of hit me, I am still considerate after all
• I have a lot of  should've sent messages in my draft box
• and I intend to keep them for the time being
• my likeness for someone is like a canned good --it has a shelf life
• also, I do not like confrontations about feelings
• I'm a coward, like that
• I wanna watch Alladin again
• I have an album art made for a mixtape but I still don't have songs for it
• in times like these, I miss my friends irl
• I wish I could just teleport to them
• and maybe break my 2 year alcohol sobriety 
• I feel like I am obliged to greet the birthday celebrant/s I see on fb
• do you also feel the same way?
• it's been 3 mos since I joined getglue but I haven't received any stickers yet
• where have all my stickers gone? 
• I love Sergio Mendes' Bridges and Rainbows End
• it brings back certain mem'ries that I wanna go back to
• my thoughts are really scattered that is why I opted to do bullets
• you see what I did durr? :P

You've been warned

Lately, I’ve been having a hard time dealing with my emotions. My mood swings are terrible. I blame my fucked up hormones and the medicines I am taking. Also, I know this is my PMS week that is why.

BRB, smothering my face with Nutella for teh happiez.

One day you'll look to see I've gone 

For tomorrow may rain, 

so I'll follow the sun 

Some day you'll know I was the one 

But tomorrow may rain, 

so I'll follow the sun 

And now the time has come 

and, my love, I must go 

And though I lose a friend 

In the end you will know, oh 

One day you'll find that I have gone 

But tomorrow may rain, 

so I'll follow the sun 

But tomorrow may rain, 

so I'll follow the sun 

And now the time has come 

and, my love, I must go 

And though I lose a friend 

In the end you will know, oh 

One day you'll find that I have gone 

But tomorrow may rain, 

so I'll follow the sun 

clay molding and lots of love

Carlo, my 7 year old son never fails to amaze me --from his witty punchlines to his cute gestures. I know I had said this too many times that you may have lost count already but I feel that the Lord has blessed me too much through Carlo. I feel so alive knowing summady loves me and no one/nothing can ever compensate to that joy, EVER! :) 

So yesterday, bb got so excited that he woke me up at around 7.30am and pulled me to the house balcony for me to see what he just did--

and I was like— huhu, thank you so much, Carl, with a tight hug and I love you’s to top it off. Oh, dear Lord, let him stay this way for as long as I live. Let him be the fine, sweet man that he should be. Ah, the joys of being a mom! :) 

Sending my Mother's Day greetings to all the momma's out there!

One day, Someday

Matagal-tagal na din nung huling magkagusto ko  sa isang lalaki. Pero kung meron nga eh pihado si Jesse Eisenberg yun, si Gabby Alipe o di kaya’y si Paul McDonald, ang labo lang, para namang makukuha ko sila. Sa edad ko ‘to na 27, minsan ang hirap na ding uriratin ang saril sa kung ano ba talaga ang gusto ko sa isang lalaki, kadalasan kase, dumadating na lang ‘to bigla ng di mo inaasahan, yung tipong gugulatin ka na lang ng sarili mo na ay, gusto ko na pala siya.

Chances are,  mabasa mo nga ‘to, pero kebs na din. Di naman na ko bata para mag-pa-sweet pa no and hello, ang ~matured~ na kaya ng thinking ko (LOL, yabang), siguro naman ikaw din. :) Eh yun nga, sa tingin ko eh gusto ko na ‘tong taong ‘to, pero di nya ko gusto, okaaayyy? Let’s call it some kind of ~unrequited likeness~ or something to that effect. Teka, parang ang hirap namang ituloy nito, alam ko napapaisip ka kung ba’t ko siya nagustuhan. Pwede na bang dahilan na mabait siya sakin tsaka parati syang andiyan para sakin tsaka parang kapatid ko na siya (shet, incest?) hell to the N-O! Eh basta, isang gabi na lang, kumabog yung dibdib ko, tila nagsasabing, hoy, Shasha, umamin ka, gusto mo yan no? Ayun napa-oo naman ako sa sarili ko. OMG! Tao pa din pala ko, may nararamdaman pa din ako sa opposite sex in real life ah, kala kase nung isa kong kaibigan bato na ang damdamin ko sa dame ng pinagdaanan kong sakit sa buhay pag-ibig, duma-dramz2011 talaga? Pero, srsly, tingin ko eh may mga natutunan din naman na ko kung paano ko ihandle ang sarili ko sa mga sitawasyong ganito: I think this likeness I have towards this person is somewhat healthy for me, in a sense that I don’t get jealous of the fact that he likes other girl(s), diba kase minsan ang tao, pag may gusto ka, ayaw mo siyang may gusto na iba, syempre ang gusto mo, sayo siya magkagusto, hala, nabilang mo ba yung ~gusto~? Ang dame lang! And as I am typing this, naisip ko bigla, eh parang di naman ako kinikilig dito sa lalaking ‘to, ang weird no? Pero, magtiwala ka, gusto ko siya, na-aappreciate ko yung existence niya sa buhay ko. Hmmm, siguro nga phase lang ‘tong pinagdadaanan ko, ang cool lang, ang steady lang din pati, basta, masaya sa pakiramdam. :)

Kung ano mang tahakin mong landas, andito lang ako, pero plis wag kang magtutulak ng drugs, k? Haha, charot lang! Hangad ko ang iyong kaligayahan. Alam kong matagal ka na ding naghahanap ng babaeng para sayo, sabe ko naman diba, dadating din yun. God’s timing is always perfect, so grab some popcorn while you wait for that woman who will sweep you off your feet. Also, be patient. :)